Definition of uncertainty
A holding pattern for uncertainty - The Waiting Room
Powerful women are often more powerful than they even image, but they give their power away by not even recognising they possess it.
Something has come to my attention. I keep hearing the same stories, again and again, they all revolve around the concept I'm calling the" WAITING ROOM."
So I wanted to take a few minutes to address this one client story that women repeatedly fool themselves into believing as it has such a detrimental effect on their lives.
I'm calling it the" waiting room", but really it's a holding pattern for uncertainty.
"When I become more qualified, I will be ready."
"When we can make it, we will start a family."
"If I keep working harder, my boss will notice my efforts."
And the worst one of all… "It's my thought I'm in this situation, so I just need to be patient and wait for something to change ...."
Do you see the theme, basically putting our lives' on hold' until the next thing happens, living in the' waiting room' throughout your life?
We all have our own beliefs, some empowering and some limiting. Have you ever consider how many of them are really your own? How many could be inherited from social media, parents and teachers, next time a belief pops in your head ask yourself,
IS THIS BELIEF IMPORTANT TO ME?
IS THIS BELIEF SERVING ME?
IS THIS THE TRUTH?
We often believe our thoughts are the TRUTH and develop our mindset around these thoughts… this is where things can go wrong.
Beliefs we form as children are usually ones created when our parents told us something for our protection. For example" Don't talk to strangers" then we wonder why our children grow up to be scared of networking ( where of course you have to speak to strangers) I'm sure you can think of many more like this.
Recently I've observed more and more women getting into the "I'm not good enough thought trap."
Because women focus SO much more, on social media, this brings more focus and attention to their perceived, lack of success in their lives.
It feeds their limiting beliefs about their readiness, to ask for the promotion they deserve, to step forward and speak up with ideas, or to take up an opportunity when it's offered; then they miss their chance for success by NOT TAKING ACTION. Instead, they stay in the waiting room.
Affirmative, if you believe you are not good enough you will act like your NOT ready BUT VICE VERSA is also right if you create a belief your ready you can step powerfully out of the waiting room.
" But WHAT IF I'm not ready, how will this help."
Ask yourself when you will be ready?
What does being ready truly look like? Feel like? How will you know?
Do you want to keep waiting? How does waiting serve to protect you?
"Perfectionism can be very close to procrastination".
So let's say that you have a limiting belief-" I need everyone at work to like me, for me to believe I am good at my job" the idea ( or belief) is stopping you from managing your team effectively. To move past this idea, you must adopt the counter belief, "I will be a better leader if I focus on managing the organisation with integrity and professionalism". - AND THE REALITY IS -people will like and respect you for it! - but changing your thought is just the FIRST STEP
Some women have already made the leap, and others are already on the journey to change, perhaps they journal their thoughts or ponder about their beliefs others still are still in the" waiting room" the only way you move out is to TAKE ACTION and start taking steps to do something in a new way. The more you practice, the better you will get.
" If you are not taking action, then all your good thoughts are STILL just holding you in the waiting room." EFFECTIVELY Creating a pattern for yourself of unfulfilled dreams
IF you want to help yourself to achieve new results, you can't keep doing what you've always done. I CHALLENGE YOU to step out of the waiting room. I LOVE helping people notice when they have put themselves in the" Waiting Room" by choice.
I invite you to work on your thoughts.
WHAT IF instead of hearing the negative voice in your head, you hear telling you all the adverse outcomes.
YOU heard the voice of your best friend or a MENTOR, what would that voice say?" You’re good at what you do so it's ok to go for it" maybe?
It's TRUE ....... WHAT WE FOCUS ON WE FEEL
What thought come to mind when I mentioned you’re trapped in the" waiting room" of your own life?
What do you believe is trapping you?
What else do you believe about your feelings?
When did you first decide this was true?
What do you believe about the world that makes you feel this way?
What if you no longer believed this was true?
What action could you take?
Do you believe you will be successful?
You have a new belief.
To move out of life's waiting room, you MUST take action and be your own best friend in your head.
So, how do you learn to manage your inner voice that' critic' that is mean and tells me to wait until your ready, that your not good enough, not liked, not prepared and sounds cruel about your body image and says things you wouldn't say out loud - they can be quietened here's what to TRY:
• Imagining her drifting into space getting quieter and then listen for a new voice inside you
• writing all the thoughts down and locking them away
• Imagine making the voice you hear into a cartoon character and separate it from you, she's mean today it's a good thing I know I've got this ( "I and IT")
• My favourite is to visualise a character and watch it shrink in your mind's eye. Take its power over you away.
What's possible for you now? There are so many inner tools to help us live productive lives. Don't overcomplicate it.
Learning to manage your inner critic effectively and developing an influential inner mentor will enable you to get new results.
Realising you're in the waiting room + identifying beliefs that no longer serve you + learning to work alongside your thoughts can result in TRANSFORMATIVE change.
Be kind to yourself and move out of your waiting room TODAY.
YOU only get everyday ONCE, make it count.